"Romance" is the lead single from Ex:Re’s (Elena Tonra of Daughter) self-titled 2018 debut album. The song is a raw, unflinching exploration of the aftermath of a breakup, focusing not on the relationship itself, but on the lingering absence and the emotional scars left behind.
Themes and Lyrics
"Romance" chronicles the loneliness and vulnerability that follow the end of a relationship. The lyrics are candid and sometimes brutal, capturing the discomfort and emotional disconnect of seeking intimacy after heartbreak. The opening verse sets the scene with a drunken, awkward encounter that leaves the narrator feeling exposed and hurt:
"And in the night, it was a drunken stutter
Started as a next to nothing conversation
And then he’s tearing me out
Taking me apart at my friend’s house
I was uncomfortable, I was hurt
Still with blue innocence in his eyes
I felt my reasoning was harsh" 1.
Tonra’s writing is notable for its honesty about the difficulty of moving on. She admits to thinking of someone else during the encounter—"I thought of another the whole time"—and contrasts the way she was seen by different partners: "See, he saw me as a human / This one thinks I’m a slaughterhouse" 1. The chorus is blunt and memorable:
"Romance is dead and done
And it hits between the eyes on this side
The grass is dead and barren
And it hurts between my thighs on this side" 1.
The song also touches on the risk of opening up again ("I could begin to open up and risk desire") and the challenge of trusting after being hurt. The bridge expresses a longing for genuine connection, even if only briefly:
"See me here, meet me here
I don’t care if it’s not repeated
I want to know who you are
For every second we outrun the moon, dread the sun come up
I want to know who you are
So I don’t have to check my stuff’s still here when you’re gone
I want to know who you are
I want to know who you were" 1.
Artistic Context
Tonra has described the Ex:Re project as an “x-ray of the fractures left by a previous relationship.” The focus is on the emptiness and pain that remain, rather than the specifics of what happened. The entire album, and especially "Romance," is marked by a sense of aching absence and the struggle to find meaning or comfort in its wake 23.
Musically, the track is built on sparse piano chords and a low electronic hum, creating a gray, rain-soaked atmosphere that mirrors the song’s emotional landscape 3. The arrangement is minimal but cathartic, with cello, synths, and Tonra’s rich alto voice providing both vulnerability and a sense of security 2.
Reception
"Romance" has been praised for its unflinching honesty and evocative songwriting. Critics have noted that, while the song is deeply sad, it is also cathartic—offering listeners a space to process their own experiences of love and loss 32.
Summary Table: "Romance" by Ex:Re
| Aspect | Details |
|---|---|
| Release | 2018, from Ex:Re (self-titled debut) |
| Artist | Elena Tonra (of Daughter), as Ex:Re |
| Style | Indie, minimal, piano-driven, atmospheric |
| Themes | Loneliness, aftermath of breakup, vulnerability, absence, risk of desire |
| Notable Lyrics | "Romance is dead and done / And it hits between the eyes on this side" |
| Reception | Praised for honesty, emotional depth, cathartic songwriting |
"Romance" is a stark, beautifully honest meditation on the void left by lost love, capturing the ache of absence and the tentative hope for new connection with Elena Tonra’s signature poetic clarity213.
